Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Task D: Formal Introduction Letter

Subject: Self-introduction

Dear Mr Blackstone

I am John Det Zapanta and I am writing to formally introduce myself. I graduated in Singapore Polytechnic (SP) with a diploma in computer engineering; specialised in Network & Security and Cloud Systems. Technology has always been a keen interest on mine and I always look forward to new and innovative techs that come every year. Reading sustainable infrastructure engineering (building services) in university may sound like I have gone off track from my experience and interests but that subject actually sparked my curiosity whilst studying in polytechnic.

In one of the modules I studied, Data Centre Management, we were tasked to research on various ways to run the data centre efficiently and at the same time ensure that the servers in the room run in optimum state. That was where I discovered heating, ventilation and air conditioning (HVAC) and how network engineers as well as the building services engineers work together to orchestrate a properly working Data centre. The use of sophisticated software to build and design buildings also drew me in. 

In terms of my communication strengths, I was privileged to have taken the role as an auxiliary instructor during my time in national service (NS). There, I was tasked to showcase the various communications equipment to the trainees and demonstrate the proper use of them. Thus, I was able to hone my ability in public speaking during my time there.

Writing poses a great challenge for me. I have difficulty forming proper full sentences but there are also times when I get carried away and eventually go out of point. I think it is because I get distracted too easily and tend to steer away from the topic at hand. 

All in all, enhancing my train of thoughts and the ability to express myself is added in my to-do list for this module! I look forward to more insightful lessons in class.

Cheers
John

edited: 
13/9/17
16/9/2017

read(r) and commented(c):
Jonathan(r)(c)
Jickson(r)
Xun Qi(r)(c)
Zi Rui(r)
Chun Heng(r)(c)



4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear John,

    Reading from your post, allows me to get to know you better! I feel that your thought process is very systematic the content of your post provides informative knowledge about you.

    However, I have some comments regarding the following:

    1) From the first paragraph, quoting " a keen interest on mine "
    should be replaced with " a keep interest of mine".
    2) Quoted "In one of the module I studied"
    should be replaced with "modules".
    3) Quoted " the room run in optimum state."
    should be added with " the room in the optimum state."
    4) Quoted "engineers as well as the building services engineers " should be replaced with " engineers, as well as the building services engineers, "

    I do look forward working with you in class!

    Regards,
    Jonathan Gan

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi John,

    Thank you for your insightful post as I get to know you better. I guess army have a rather good impact on you as you get the opportunity to improve your softskills and presentation skills.

    However I have some pointers that I would like to point out.
    1) In 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence, you stated " that subject" which I got rather confuse at what you mean. Maybe you could think of rephrasing the particular sentence.

    Maybe you could split your strength and weakness in to 2 different paragraphs it would be easier to read.

    However, I feel that the content is rather insightful and a pleasant read. I believe you will be able to overcome your flaws as you continue to work on it. All the best!

    Cheers,
    Ronvin Tan


    "that subject" to "this course"
    cheers

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear John,

    Thank you for this formal letter. I appreciate how you paint quite a vivid picture of your interests. In particular, you do a fine job illustrating how you are passionate about technology and your experience with that. It's also interesting to learn about your NS experience. All of these experiences should provide you with a great starting point as you do project work this term in SIE2016.

    In terms of your writing, I see a few minor issues:

    1) ...enhancing my train of thoughts and the ability to express myself is .... >>> (subject-verb disagreement)

    2) I graduated in Singapore Polytechnic (SP) with a diploma in computer engineering; specialised in Network & Security and Cloud Systems. >>> (sentence structure)

    I look forward to working with your this term.

    Brad

    ReplyDelete